Inner and Outer Critics

When I was in first grade, I think I was 5. I had a painting in the Minneapolis Museum of Art. It was part of a project in all the schools of the Twin Cities to hang young artists works. Thousands of works of art from all the schools were submitted, and from all age groups. Mine was chosen to represent the First Graders.

There is a picture of me, somewhere, pointing to my painting on the wall of the museum. Big proud smile on my face.

Well, then my family life changed dramatically, divorce, scandal, shame, and my art lessons were dropped.

I could go on and on about the raw deal I got, but what I see now is that the society that was so harsh in it's judgement of me and my family could have driven me to deeper in art. As it did with many writers, poets, musicians and artists.

More importantly, I listened to the outer critics of my family and of myself. Those outer critics began to become my inner critic. I have found the inner critic is hardest to ignore, let go, and free oneself from.

It's not what others think about me that matters, it's what I think of me.

That might just be a life long goal, to accept me, and stand for me, in the face of all contrary evidence.

Guided Meditation

Each Friday morning I facilitate a guided meditation. It's a conference call number and I guide callers on expanding your abundance.

I guide people through relaxing and balancing their bodies and then we take a mental journey to what I call their Sacred Spot. A place just for you to design and be.

I love my Sacred Spot. and when I am designing something for myself, like a new commitment, a new career, more money, I place myself in that spot and picture the things I want in my life there.

My Sacred Spot is an island that has beaches, woods, and mountains. So I get it all. :)

I can walk along the sandy beaches and listen to the surf, I can walk in the woods and hear the birds, and smell the deep rich smell of plants, or I can sit atop the mountains and view the world.

What is your Sacred Spot? Do you have one? Take a moment today and design your Sacred Spot. What you put into it will come back 'twelve fold'.

"April showers bring May flowers"

There is an old song about rain:

Though April showers
May come your way,
They bring the flowers
That bloom in May;
And if it's raining,
Have no regrets;
Because, it isn't raining rain, you know,
It's raining violets.
And when you see clouds
Upon the hill,
You soon will see crowds
Of daffodils;
So keep on looking for the bluebird,
And listening for his song,
Whenever April showers come along.

My best friend and I would sing this song as we walked home from school when it would rain. (And it could rain in Minnesota)

I was living such a sad childhood, I would listen to the lyrics that we sang and trust that happier days were just around the corner for me too, just like the flowers that bloomed after a rain storm.

And each time I face tough times, or sad times, I think of this song. I think of my best friend Linda, and how we would walk together, talk, and share that time. She was my salvation in those years.

I guess that's where we experience the silver lining in each cloud. Each bad time, each discouraging experience, there is something that helps us get through it. And God love Linda, she was mine for many years.

Linda passed from cancer in 1996. She lives with me forever in this song.

Reading "Think and Grow Rich" daily

This is a picture of me and Bob Proctor at my training three years ago. I was awarded my LifeSuccess license at this picture. :)

Bob Proctor was the one that got me to start reading Napoleon Hill's masterpiece, "Think and Grow Rich". He reads it everyday. And he has done so since 1961. Oh yeah, the guy is quite wealthy, his marriage works, and he gives back to the community.

I have taught classes using the book, and have read it several times, and I've also got the recording of the book, and listen to it in my car occasionally.

But in December 2009, my friend and I gave ourselves a challenge, "Lets read through the entire book aloud each day for 30 minutes." Wow! The book has come alive in ways I never imagined.

Today we read about the genesis of United States Steel Corporation. I've read that chapter many times, and it was okay, but not inspirational. Today I got what Mr Hill was saying. That faith, not the faith I was taught in church, but real faith, builds ideas into fruition. Faith is believing in something no one else does. Faith gives vision, clarity, persistence, and hope.

I intend to build my faith muscle. Society has been so kind to help me build my resignation muscle, it's time for me to build faith.

Rain, and more rain

It's raining here in LA.

And in LA style it's done big.

Los Angeles is the town of Big and Abundance. Big movie stars, big blockbuster movies, big TV shows, big signs that say "HOLLYWOOD". It's the town dedicated to bigger is better.

And when we have weather, it's done big. So I sit here in my living room watching the storms move across the sky, big dark rumbling clouds poised to let loose.

Today, form 11-1 pm one deluge let loose. It's now 7 pm and I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop and watch the second deluge. The thunder and lightening have just signaled the next drop.

Well, nothing yet, but I am hopeful. I love rain, and big storms...are the best.

Rain is all about cleaning. Purifying. And for going within. To take time and withdraw and go within yourself. Meditate, calm down, renew your spirit.

A rainy day is perfect for that. And a rainy day in LA is all about renewal.

I Love This Picture

I love this picture of my dog Mace when he was 4 months old. First of all he is small! He is not small at this time. He's a big guy. 100 pounds of a big guy. But in this picture he is the little pup we brought home just 3 weeks prior.

Secondly, I love the picture because he is not letting a fence get in his way of being exuberant.

Mace does things full out. He eats happily, sleeps soundly (snoring optional), he's always excited to see me, even if all I did was walk to the mail box and return.

Nothing gets in his way of full self-expression.

Yesterday we had a rain storm, complete with lightening and thunder. Mace had never experienced thunder before, not knowing what it was he went into protect Mom mode.

He stood between me and the door, perhaps thinking there were some intruders pounding on the walls trying to get at me. In his world that 's just not gonna happen. Again, nothing gets between him and his self-expression. He does things fully or not at all.

I do admire that and hope to take on more of his ways of being in my life.

Living in Flow

I started this blog a few months ago in the experiment of 'getting a new job'

Out of taking this project on, I have a clearer vision of what I desire in my life. It has been great. And to settle for just a job, seems such a diminishment of my talents.

I am so programed by my society that a 'job' is the highest form of achievement. It's safe when you have a job; you have a safe income.

We've been taught to be good consumers, good repeaters of information, but not taught to develop habits of thinking that will develop our faculties for advancement. We are not taught to "Think and Grow Rich".

We are taught conformity is more important than life itself. Why is that?

I am developing a year program of living in the flow and abundance of life, not this resistance we have set ourselves upon. It's time to take the lid off.
:)

Martin Luther King Jr Day

Martin Luther King Jr Day is dream day.

He lived a life of dream,not merely for himself, but for the world.

He changed from a man of anger and violence, to a peaceful resistance to any injustice.

I can learn from his life. Not merely the greatness, but from the transformation of himself from anger to peaceful demonstration of change.

Where can I apply his life to mine? Where can I offer peaceful confidence that what I dream is here now?

A question worth living.

Sick Today

I've been changing my diet.

I've lessened my coffee intake to 1/2 cup a day, and I've added Green Tea instead.

Well, that has unleashed any blockage in my intestines previously.

It felt like I had food poisoning. But none of the people that ate with me Friday night got sick at all.

So all I can figure is the change of coffee to green tea. I realize coffee can be harsh, but I had no idea.

So, I've been 'driving the porcelain bus', as they say.

I'll chalk this up to detoxing. :)

The dogs are worried about me, and follow me to the bathroom. They don't seem to mind the odor. lol

Dinner With Friends

Every other Friday night we get together with a group of friends. It's quite a collection; our 2 dogs, between 2-5 children ages 3-8, 3 married couples and 3 single people.

It's refreshing, enjoyable, and amazingly revitalizing. There are a few crabby and complaining personalities, and it is amazing to watch them lighten up, let go of the complaints, and genuinely smile.

Just that alone has me want to do it every week.

I think there is something to be said for gathering regularly. The consistency of it builds a bond. We have watched each of us get married, have children, one divorce, grow, age, and go up and down on our diets and work out programs.

And we will be there through it all.

My intention is one of growth. I see us really moving towards our goals, our purpose, and passions.

My love and affection are for these people.

The camel, the lion and the dragon

There is a myth, told in Eastern worlds, of the camel, the lion and the dragon. That each of us go through these phases of development.

We start out as camels, evolve to become lions and then must slay our dragons.

The camel is born and asks to be made strong, so there are many bags placed on his back, the bags are burdens; the rules of living. Each bag says 'thou shalt'.

The more the burdens the stronger the lions we become. The lion is born out of the camel when the camel has had one too many burden placed on his back and his back is broken, out of the ashes of the camel a lion emerges. The lion bolts throwing off all burdens.

The lion runs into the woods to be confronted by the dragon. The lion must slay the dragon, and on each of the scales on the dragons skin is written 'thou shalt'. Each of the rules of living the camel had placed on his back.

When the lion has slayed the dragon, he becomes a child. The child has now accepted the rules of living and thrown off the the inner demons that constrict. The child represents new beginnings, inner wisdom and resources.

This is how life works in any area. We learn the rules of selling, or music, or art, and then we must throw off these rules to become the artist, or the expert in our field, the master of our fate.

We all need to be tamed, like the camel, and learn the rules of living in society. But then we must go through the stage of throwing off the rules and become a full person, not being driven by the conformity of society.

Wealth Consciousness

I read everyday.

I read (aloud) with my friend in Vancouver WA each morning at 7 am. Currently we are reading from the book. "Think and Grow Rich" by Napoleon Hill. Personally, the book has come alive by reading it out loud with someone. And I thank my friend each day for doing this with me.

Hearing that book allows me to keep considering that I have everything I need around me, I'm just not open to see, or hear it, yet.

And I've asked myself, "What will it take for me to awaken myself to be more in alignment with Wealth Consciousness?"

I believe, given all the people that have brought themselves up from ghettos, desperate poverty, and situations, that yes we all have the power within to overcome any circumstances.

It takes developing awareness. Not a simple task, not a direct one, nor is it particularly appreciated in our society. It seems we wish that we all stay 'asleep' at the wheel.

So to go against the grain and develop a Wealth Consciousness can be a formidable task. Even in this financially obsessed world we live in Wealth Consciousness is not what we are experiencing.

Wealth consciousness is about desire, joy, pursuing your bliss, as Joseph Campbell says.

And that can be threatening stuff to the status quo.

Yeah, I've finally got nothing to lose. I'll develop my wealth consciousness.

Hitting Bottom?

Anyone hitting bottom? I have, seems like twice today.

Don't get me wrong, I have a wonderful life, a loving husband, and wonderful home. It's just sometimes......

Yeah, it's that sometimes, isn't it?

Sometimes when you just want to tell loved ones off, tell them they are spoiled, and acting like two-year-olds in a temper tantrum.

Yeah, those times.

I breathe, I hear the argument I want to have, and don't. What do I do?

Take the dogs for a walk and get away. Get away, that seems to be my most common choice.

I'm not sure it works. However, I've seen and heard the damage of speaking my mind in those moments. That doesn't work either.

Between a rock and a hard place? Yep, but I can't imagine that I'm the only one with this frailty, of not being able to speak in confusion. And when did I learn that? When did I learn to suppress myself so dramatically?

All the advice and meditation, and prayer and thoughts sometimes seem bereft at these moments.

Well, that's where I'm at tomight.

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Doing a Mental Cleanse

I've been doing what I will call a mental purification. Kinda like house cleaning, but for my mind.

I didn't start out thinking I will do this mental house cleaning, and it will be great, only good things will happen when I do this....you know the fantasy I think when I take on changing myself.

It actually began last October. I started meditating on a regular basis. Actually, I got a meditation tape and when I awakened at 3 am, like I've been doing without fail for years now, and rather than struggle going back to sleep, I thought, "why not meditate?"

So I put the iPod on and let myself drift back to a kind of sleep, but not always, many times it's a kind of dreamless awake.

The purpose of the meditation was to expand my awareness, to become interested in my behavior so I could naturally change the behaviors that weren't working and choose behaviors that did.

That is occurring. I am seeing behaviors that I never saw so clearly in myself before. And for the most part I can see the original incident that had me choose to behave that way. I see the circumstances, I see and hear the conversations, and I hear my decision. But I see it without judgement of how wrong it was, or how much a victim I was or how unforgivable it all was.

I can see not only my unconscious behavior but all the people around me behaving in unconscious ways.

It's quite remarkable.

And I can see that many of my unconscious behaviors have cost me. Cost me in reputation, acknowledgement, joy, freedom, self-expression. Well, the list goes on.

So at this part of the cleanse I ask: What do I want now? What is next?

Trickster Gods

In many cultures there are trickster gods, one who's sole aim is to poke fun and to make laugh and more often than not, at the person's own expense.

The trickster gods are, in Native American cultures, an essential part of spiritual awakening. Laughter opens us up from the rigid preconceptions of how life should be lived, or how we ARE.

The trickster is essential to birth, and creation. It frees ourselves from the past and allows laughter to inform us of our follies, our foibles, and constraints. In that moment we are free from our hard held points of view that diminish our power to create.

Remember create comes from nothing,to view something from a completely new side and see the birth of an idea in that moment. Most ideas, when viewed in this vantage point, are shoved aside as 'silly, inconsequential, or frivolous'.

But each idea needs the breath of life poured into it or it will remain stillborn and put on the shelf; a sad place to be put.

So, remember there are trickster gods, some of them sound remarkably like your family and friends telling you to settle down and stop dreaming. But have courage, like this picture of this cat and the 20 dogs. Laugh at yourself, laugh with others, (note I did not say laugh at others?)

Allow laughter to open you up to the new you.

Passion is not Pushy

I hear so many people tell me that they are passionate about some product they are selling, or the new Multi-level-marketing company that they are signed up with. And they they proceed to attempt to push me into buying the product or signing up under them to sell it.

Yeah, that's not passion, that's pushing.

Real passion is infectious. It has no agenda, no marketing ploy, no force.

It interesting force will negate the results that you are looking for. So if you force people, you will get some results, and that might encourage you to do the same behavior over and over, but, in the long run it will negate the things you really want to happen in your life.

Think of the person who forces his/her way in business and focuses only on that, later to see that many of the decisions of their life left them lonely and afraid.

So, can you really think that that is passion?

Isn't passion that part of ourselves that is so pure that just being in the prescience of real passion we just want to get involved? We just want to play too?

If you feel you have never seen real passion, just go the playground and watch kids play. It will so infect you that you will want to jump on the swing set too!

So the trick is to learn what makes you passionate? What gets your juices flowing?

Take on an experiment: Investigate what gives you joy. See if, while you are involved in that activity, someone wants to join in. That's passion!

New Resume

I got my resume completed today.

A new one using different format.

I'm amazed at how much I've forgotten that I've done.

Might be a good idea each year to update your resume and keep track of accomplishments.

I suspect we only remember the failures, not the tiny successes.

Each tiny step makes way for more success. So lets celebrate each step!

Whoo-Hoo!

Active Visualization

You probably hear a lot about visualization. Maybe it has you think of daydreaming.

Truth be told daydreaming is not visualization. It might help to think of visualization as active visualization.

What's the difference?

Active visualization is seeing yourself actively doing the tasks or seeing yourself at the achievement of your goals. NASA had astronauts actively go through each task of walking on the moon, as if they were doing it for real. USSR athletes would see themselves play each game in their mind fully, each step of the the run, each goal shot.

It is more involved in your body. Dancers dance each dance in their minds before the performance.

So that's is what you can do in active visualization. Take 5 minutes each day to see yourself in the accomplishment of each step of your journey to your desires, your dreams. Feel the feelings of each accomplishment, and each time you overcome any obstacle.

That is active visualization, not just daydreaming!

Ever Feel Like Ya Gotta Do It Alone?

Do you ever feel like you've gotta do it all by yourself? and you are up against odds that you had no idea were this hard?
I like what Madonna said once before a concert of hers, "I never would have done this if I knew it would be this hard." the interviewer asked her "What? Done what?"
She said, "Be a rock star. Being a dancer was so much easier."

It does seem tough to keep going when every muscle in your body says 'STOP!" And you don't feel like you got enough sleep, and your eating too much junk food 'just to get through this last push', or exercise is some strange ritual your neighbors do, but not you.

In the beginning of any new venture, that is when the going is the hardest. Just like a great river that starts as a small bubbling spring, each rock or tree or hill seems to stop the flow and the water needs to find a new path, go around the rock or tree, but the river gets started none the less.

Like that spring you too will confront obstacles. It's almost like there is a hidden trickster tempting you to stop, give up and go back to your old ways. (That trickster remarkably has the sound of your voice down cold.)

But the purpose of a goal is to support you in expanding your awareness. It's to develop your consciousness through action.

And when you take on the expansion of your level of awareness it will feel like you are all alone pushing boulders.

That's when you call upon your inner core that is stronger than you have ever imagined. Your inner resource of strength, resolve, and purpose.

Purpose makes life worth while. Your purpose, what are you here to provide, or be of service to others? Find your purpose, or what Joseph Campbell says, "Find your bliss". Find that inner joy, that place of devotion, and all the rocks and trees, and hills or mountains will not slow you down.

Plant Seeds

Oh boy it's Wednesday!

Some people call it hump day. I like to think of Wednesday as the day for inspiring questions. Or planting seeds.

It has been said that the quality of your life is determined by the quality of the questions you ask.

So you could ask; how can I take 2 weeks off work and not lose any pay. And the level of thinking will be on that level. Fine thing to think about.

But what about the question being; how can I take a vacation to my favorite place and increase my income by 10%?

Kinda amazing when you think of it huh? Each question is perfectly legitimate, and acceptable, but the second one opens up possibilities of freedom not experienced in the first.

So I like to think of Wednesday as seed planting day. What questions can I start to ask that will pull me forward, that will put me in a kind of development unprecedented.

What can you ask today that will plant a seed for your dreams to become your reality?

Play Music

Today is Tuesday.

Let's play music today. Play music that inspires you, that makes you want to dance, sing. jump for joy. I love the song about "I can see clearly now the pain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way". That song just fills me with joy when ever I'm lucky enough to hear it.

A feeling of freedom washes over me like a warm shower.

What is your favorite song? Why not play it right now?

Then dance, sing or jump for joy.

Let the music move through you. Then let life move through you just like your favorite song. Let life sing through you, holding nothing back, using each note to it's fullest.

We can get stuck remembering all the nasty details of what we did do or didn't do, and forget the music of life.

Let's give ourselves more moments each day of music.

First Monday of January 2010

Annnnnnnd we are off!

Here it is the first Monday of the new year. This is when we really feel the beginning of a new possibility, new hope for a better year, new expectations of results.

The feeling in the air is excited, joyful, and optimistic.

But telling the truth, we all fear that time when resignation creeps in, when we having faltered to keep our commitments to lose weight or get in shape or to change behaviors, or make more money or whatever. We fear that time in 3 weeks, or 5 weeks when the newness wears off, and we are back to business as usual. Back to the new year being that same as last year.

So how do we practice awakening to our joy each day? What can we do to create that feeling of newness at each day, after each time we suffer disappointment?

The quickest fastest easiest way to feel good is to give thanks.

Take time each day to really give thanks. Give thanks for what is yours and give thanks for what you desire. Give thanks epically for what you have set as goals as if it is already present.

Trust me, I know how hard that can be. I've had the same bad 2008-2009 that you did. But I took on the practice of breathing in gratitude. Gratitude for a beautiful sunrise, for a laugh with the dogs, for a quiet moment with my loved ones.

Just this year I learned to give thanks for what I desire. Thanks the world, the universe, or God or whatever for what is coming, as if it is already achieved.

That's what I'm practicing each day. And 2010 will be the best.

A Perfect Day To Start

It's a perfect day to start.

Today I allow room for growth, expansion, and awareness.

Today I am grateful for not only what I have but for what's coming.

I see great things here for me.

A new job offer for more money than I expected.

My marriage is better than ever.

My friends and family are connected.

I write and finish my first best selling book.

I've designed new classes and workshops building networking groups of people willing to support and be supported in their vision, goals and dreams.

Today is the prefect day. This moment is the perfect moment.

What is the purpose of a goal?

Does it feel like sometimes a goal is there just to make you feel inadequate?

Or just to make you feel like you are failing?

Well, relax.

No really relax.

A goal is there to help give you enough incentive to grow in awareness.

You see you currently have the things you have in life because you are at that level of awareness. When you expand your awareness, you increase your ability to have.

And you actually get to the point where you don't need to have, you are free to choose what to have.

So a goal has you grow, expand your abilities, develop capacities that were dormant.

So choose goals that inspire you, get your juices flowing.

Oh yes and relax.......

2010! the New Year

It's the new year. To make this year better than ever, to have this year be a year of miracles, results, and deep fulfillment, here is a suggestion.

Spend about 10-15 minutes each day sitting quietly and asking yourself: What do I desire more than anything?

Allow yourself to dream, to imagine your deepest desire. A relationship, a feeling of vitality, and vigor, a new career path that is fulfilling, recognition for the job you do. Whatever, dream it.

Next once you see what you deeply desire write in your journal how happy you are that you have that desire. Spend time throughout the day feeling the feelings of joy and happiness now that you have accomplished your desires.

Next, let it go. Let go of all attachment to how it has to look, and appear. Allow it to come to you in the wonderful and miraculous way you never expected.

Allow 2010 to be wonderful, love every minute of this profound year. ALL OF IT. The ups the downs, the ins and outs. Love all of it.

You will be amazed at how it turns out.