Sunrise/Sunset

Yesterday, I was up and out the door by 6 AM.  I got to see the sunrise.  It is always a treat for me to watch the sun come up, as the light gently warms the sky. The interesting thing was watching the sunset on the same day.

While watching the sunset on a beautiful day spent outdoors,  I began wondering, "What are we doing, we human beings, to our planet?" We get so involved in all our dramas of survival, making money, spending money, arguing of what is the best diet, exercise program, religion, politics, laws, leaders good and evil, right and wrong, domination and avoidance and on and on.  When I really get present to it all I get dizzy, and slightly confused.  There is no way to make it stop, or ignore it. 

Then I began thinking, "Wait, what am I doing?"  Or more importantly, "What can I do, what could I do to support our world?"  Rather than getting on some soapbox and declare  some one way as the right way, what if I just looked inside my heart and asked myself, what can I do each day to be true  to myself and support our planet? 

I would love to tell you I have an answer, but I do not.  The powerful thing is I have begun to ask the question in such a way that a path will be shown to me, of that I have no worries.  I choose to live a life of embracing change, embracing profound love and take it one step at a time.  Sounds simple?  I know it is not.  It will challenge my old values, static ideas and old notions of reality.  It's slightly confronting to look from here.  Just a little transformational, in that I feel like I am walking during an earthquake, with no sure footing, but with a lot of inner peace.

Creative Universe

While walking with my dogs the other day, I paused to look at the beautiful rose garden of one of my neighbors.  (No, not the one pictured in the photo)  I was struck by the diversity and creativity of our world.  Nature has such abundance of life forms, from the simple to the complex.  It is designed to work together, collaborating on a basic level of cooperation.  I was in awe and wondered how I can be of service to our world during this challenging time of dramatic change.

Phoenix Rising

This is a picture from last nights aurora borealis light show.  It has been lovingly refereed to as "The Phoenix".

The phoenix is a mythical creature that rises from it's own ashes.  A remarkable story of rebirth from the ashes of destruction.  The wizard Dumbledore from the Harry Potter books had a phoenix as his familiar. 

It reminds me of the white buffalo that was born in the early 90's in Northern Minnesota.  Many of the Native American tribes said it was a good omen of prosperity and regeneration for the tribes.  Maybe this is our sign of renewal and prosperous times ahead.

Being Yourself

 The book, and ultimately the move, of "To Kill a Mockingbird" is a multilayered  gem of human experience.

There is the wonderfully diametrically opposed relationships of fathers daughters with the gentle mentor relationship between Atticus and Scout, and  the dominating and abusive father daughter relationship of Tom and Mayella Ewell. 

 The juxtaposition of society of the times being exposed for all it's blatant inequities and injustices.  Each time I view the movie or read a small passage of the book,I open myself to compassion for what it takes to be true to yourself regardless of the norms of society. 

Integrity, and sense of conscious and the idea that the way you behaved whether people saw you or not is central to becoming yourself. 

It is a great piece of work and a helpful guide to being yourself.

Saving the World, or Us

"No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved! You know, for a little bit? I feel like the maid; I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for... for ten minutes" Mr. Incredible

I love the movie The Incredibles.  Very fun and funny, in such a compelling way.  I laughed out loud with a chuckle of recognition in Mr. Incredible saying "I just want it to stay saved." 

That's a little bit like my relationship with me and wanting to keep it together.  I just want to finally once and for all get my stuff in order, ya know?  Get my workouts effective once and for all, meditate enough I will then gain clarity once and for all, get my posture perfect, or money handled once and for all.  And the list goes on and on. 

However, it doesn't work that way.  The essence of life is is changeability and challenges, just when we thought our money was handled, stocks go down, or someone is laid off, just when we get into a rhythm in our jogging, our knees blow out.  The attempt to make life static can get us in muddy waters. 

The world ain't going to be saved, so we can stop trying to get it to tow the line and be perfect.  Neither are we going to be perfect, so we can relax and breathe.  We can practice mercy, compassion and joy at our foibles, inconsistencies, and downright stubbornness. 

In the times when I pressed, I stop and breathe.

Self-Discipline

I noticed yesterday, I have a nasty relationship with self-discipline.  It's all about how wrong I am, and how weak, or inconsistent or lazy.  Wow, things I would never say to a friend, I seem to take a privilege in saying to myself.

Maybe it's time to reinvent my thoughts on self-discipline and follow through.  Maybe I can realize that we all struggle with self-discipline and follow through, it's just the particular subject that changes.  Some of us are very disciplined in what we eat, or recycling, or paying bills on time, or keeping a lid on impulse shopping.  But we stumble on having patience in traffic, or we are judgemental with our family, or we gossip.  "Oh, I did it again"  we all seem to say. 

I hope to discover a new way to support myself when I stumble and fail, when I eat the candy too quickly, or get angry.  I hope in those moments to learn to show myself a little mercy, and extend compassion to all of us that get trapped in the vicious circle of emotions:  judgement, lashing out, regret and guilt.  Maybe it's time for a new circle.

Laugh

I was blessed with a father that taught me to laugh at myself.  I am blessed with a brother that keeps that tradition alive in our family. 

And I was blessed with a family that did wild and silly things.  Most times these things were unintentional and well-meaning, like my spinster Aunt who was the original re-gifter and gave my cousin (18 at the time) with beautiful raven colered hair her old grey wiglet for Christmas one year.  I got the box of Hickory Farms cheese and salami package but with the cheese and salami gone, cause she liked that stuff, so she left me the nuts and fruitcake.

Sometimes they were intentional, like the time my Uncle put a letter "I" over the "A" in the road signs "Do Not Pass" along the highway in our town.  Or my other Uncle who was the biggest football bookie in the Midwest in the 70's, who was finally caught and sent to jail, and his reply was, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."

It pays to have a good sense of humor.  Not only in the good times but in the tough times.  We are in tough times.  Lets keep laughing, particularly at ourselves. 

Time

"So he said at this time you're going to see that things will speed up, that people on the earth will move faster and faster. Grandchildren will not have time for grandparents. Parents will not have time for children. It will seem like time is going faster and faster. The elders advised us that as things speed up, you yourself should slow down. The faster things go, the slower you go." Hopi Prophecy

Ah, to slow down, at least mentally, as age has helped me slow down physically.  To slow down mentally is an interesting process.  At first I had to look at how bored I thought being still, or not adding to the dramas of the moments, not to get involved in my thoughts of the past or how to protect myself from some unknown threat from without, was.  To stay long enough in what I experienced as boredom was and still is a challenge, and slowly the rewards of that practice is paying off in the ability to access effortless ease, effective conversations, and efficient actions.

Who know that the access to power was stillness?

So, then the speeding up of time isn't a worry for me, I can find the eternal in every tree, gust of air, and sunrise. 

Warrior

"This we know: the earth does not belong to man, man belongs to the earth. All things are connected like the blood that unites us all. Man did not weave the web of life, he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself" Chief Seattle 1854 letter to Washington DC

I have an image of a warrior, given to me by the media, of strong men, some of them super-heroes with super powers.  4% body fat, racing around in either spandex or animal skins carrying huge clubs, guns or swords doing damage to some outer enemy.   I do not discredit all the men and women who have fought brave battles for freedom.  These are heroes.  I am looking at another kind of warrior, one
who does battle with the inner enemies.

Rarely do I see an image of a warrior who chooses the path of the inner battle, the one really fought on the front lines.  The constant struggle with the inner judgements and evaluations and upsets that do no good to anyone, epically oneself, but we all engage in them anyway.  So, Chief Seattles comments that whatever man does to the outer world he does to himself, gains a deeper edge when we consider the judgements we have about those 'other people' or 'politicians' or 'salesmen' and on and on.

I suppose the inner battle seems less exciting, and is harder to perfect a strong image to instill a kind of inspiration to action.  It's much easier to see a picture of the Green Lantern, or Wolverine, or Superman brandishing foes right and left.  Truth be told many of us do this battle inside everyday, we catch ourselves judging, turning away, seeking comfort in an ever changing and uncomfortable world, and still reach out with love and mercy. 

Patience

Ah, traffic.  The delights of living,  I was going to say, in our modern world.  But, I'm thinking traffic congestion has been around as long as there has been carts and wagons to pull or push through muddy paths, trails or cobblestone streets.

Traffic, or other such items that seem to challenge my temper, gives me a wonderful opportunity to practice patience and calm myself. 

I was listening to a lecture recently and the speaker said that the gift of patience is patience.  What, I thought? Surely there has to be  a bigger reward for practicing patience?  Like winning the lotto, or being able to eat all the sweets you want and never get fat.  Come on!

It reminded me of a teacher that told me a life of integrity is it's own reward.  Again I thought What?!  Then why do it.  Why, when all around me are the slippery slopes to no integrity and no patience?  Why do it when it seems very few people do it, or worse when I get attacked for practicing either?

As I have aged, I can see a deeper wisdom in those statements.  The world is how it is, not going to change, people are how we are, we aren't evolving that fast.  For me to rail against traffic, or complain about people, is a futile exercise.   In the time I am alive, I can practice patience and integrity, and know that the reward is a life of integrity and patience. 

You Can't Get There From Here

Wherever I am headed in achieving my goals or producing results that are either asked or demanded of me, deep down I understand I can't get to where I want by maintaining my present state of consciousness. 

It's kinda like the quick weight loss diets that can alter your weight, temporarily, but don't do anything to alter the inner workings of the mind so you bounce back to the 'old' weight.  Or the stories of Big Lotto winners that in less than 3 years are broke and deeper in debt than ever before.
We can't get to where we desire or dream by holding on to our current ways of thinking, or for me not thinking.

I am truly amazed by how much I want to get pissed off, or check out, not watch the news, all sorts of things. But, I just got how seeing the world with my preconceived ideals won't help me make the jump to results that heretofore I have struggled to achieve.  It is going to take wrestling with new thoughts, new ideas, and being willing to take the coaching that the world is providing.  Not constantly reach for comfort, conformity and 'going along'.

It means really embracing not only my humanity but all humanity, seeing the things in me I don't like to look at, and seeing them with mercy.  I will never fix myself or the world.  Or my family for that matter!  But I can bring mercy and understanding.  That might be what will help make the jump.

Rock Logic & Water Logic

Edward de Bono has a book out called "I am Right, You Are Wrong: From Rock Logic to Water Logic".  In it he makes several observations about our very logical, solid, hard world, that declares:   "this is how it is". 

We really live in a world so dynamic and changeable that our minds can barely come to terms with it.  So much so, that the very nature of the changeableness evokes in some fear, anxiety, acting out, getting what is 'ours', and all sorts of behaviors.

Our traditional logic has trapped us with the righteousness of absolutes, and for the most part has trapped us in a limited world view. 

What I have here is a picture of grains of sand.  Beautiful, distinct, with different colors, shadings, and remarkably unique.  I don't know about you but I take for granted the sand on the beach, It all 'looks' the same to me.  I was wonderfully surprised to see the beauty of each grain of sand.  It was a reminder of the difference that Edward de Bono asks in his book; look beyond your first assumptions, your first look at something and look deeper, enjoy the delight of discovering something you have known and see the newness of it once again.

Confidence in a Demanding World

I was having one of 'those' days.  In the middle of all the demands, stresses, judgements, and ideals to which one can never reach; I paused long enough to ask myself a question.  What am I resisting?  What am I fighting against in myself that if I just let go of the fight and struggle to maintain my point of view, what could happen?

In the past I have stopped struggling and it has eroded my confidence, my sense of trusting myself, and believing in my intuition.  That's not what I am talking about here.  I will call that just giving up.  That is not letting go of resistance.

When I looked at what I was resisting, it was more complex than I could imagine, it had more to do with being effective and what the past has informed me about being effective means people demand more of you and ' You can't say no'.  That again erodes confidence, the lack of freedom to either say yes or no.  Not what I am talking  about here.

I'm talking about more of a moment by moment awareness to the struggles that are really effective and create good things, and the struggles that are ego based and do no good but feed the ever starved ego.  That was a great thing to differentiate.  I suspect it will be a life long challenge to keep differentiating from ego and that which serves to build confidence and inner strength. 

Laughing

Dogs laugh.  Mine do.  Mine have a sense of humor and love it when I get their jokes and laugh.  I am blessed to have 3 dogs with big personalities.  They teach me about love, compassion, leadership, forgiveness and the joy of being alive.  I teach them about 'sit', 'lay down' and going to the bathroom outside not inside.  I think I have the better teachers.

Happiness

The undisputed access to happiness is the ability to be here now.  Simple enough?  No.  Our brains are wired to constantly judge and evaluate the now with what was, or what should be. No wonder the hardest spiritual practices are ones of gaining access to be here now.  Meditation, prayer, sitting quietly, all sounds so easy, but not really or we would all do it everyday. 

What these practices provide is not the 'answer' to everything, but a simple access to what has been called 'the one watching, or the one hearing the thoughts'.

Gaining access to hearing that voice as if it is your arm or hand, it is a part of you but not all of you.  We tend to listen to that voice as 'the conveyor of all news that is worthy and right'.  Maybe not.  But being against that voice doesn't work either.  Befriending that voice, the voice of judgement, criticism, worry, doubt and triggers is a path to happiness.  

The first step on the path is to bring yourself to the moment, especially the moments you want to check out, drop out and tune out.  The moments when you are triggered, upset and frustrated,  those are the times to bring yourself (the listener) to the present.  It won't have you do anything differently right away, you may still say silly things, or eat too much, or drink too much, but it brings a consciousness to the moments where you usually go south.  That's where the real access to happiness begins. You aren't trying to force yourself and others to be something you are not, you are a human being with triggers, upsets, concerns, worries, doubts and ego trips.  But it puts you on a path of self-expression, strength and fulfillment that gives not only you, but all around you freedom.

Release

As I read the suggestions from some of our top spiritual leaders of our times for living a life of fulfillment in 2012, what seems to be a theme from each is practicing detachment.  Although it has been said many different ways, such as 'celebrating impermanence', 'embrace uncertainty', 'show mercy', it is all pointing to the idea of releasing our stuck views, opinions and judgements.

Release can mean many things.  It can mean; let go, surrender to, to free, gain absolution, receive deliverance, get an acquittal or turnout.  The true feeling of release is to live detached from the results, to have desires and intentions but not be limited as to how those intentions play out.

I have been practicing a form of release, for example, when I want to pull away or drift off I lean towards the thing I want to run away from.  The first thing I noticed is the thing I want to run away from or go unconscious around seems to disappear faster than when I take myself away.  It is challenging as the first impulse is to just want to get out; for example when traffic gets bad or  I am in a conversation with an avid complainer, I usually mentally take myself away.  This morning I stayed not only present but softened my heart while staying conscious.  A feeling of freedom swept through me.  It was nice. 

We have challenging and dramatically changing times ahead.  The question becomes how can we live a life of fulfillment inside these dramatic times?  Maybe by releasing the old ego patterns and opinions.  It isn't that we don't have opinions or judgements, but we can release the grip they have on us by leaning in into the ego and releasing.  It's like flying.

Bring Peace

2012 has started.  Our regrets, upsets, challenges, and accomplishments of 2011 are set aside to allow the hopes and aspirations of a new year to come to the foreground.  In all the hope for a brighter and more joyful year, bring peace with you where ever you are. Make an choice to enter into each situation bringing peace and if you can muster it, awareness.

We are in a time of great changes, and world challenges. It is all good, but as with any major change it can be worrisome and concerning. "How is this going to work out?  Will I make it?", could be some thoughts floating around.

All around us there will be loud dramatic opinions, arguments and demands for our attention.  In all of this, bring peace.  Bringing yourself forward with peace could possibly be a ray of hope for the people around you.  Easier said than done, as I watch myself get triggered instantly from my husband saying something, or a favorite cup broken, or a bill that will be a struggle to pay.  I try not to be perfect in these times, but I do try to bring peace. 

I started meditating consistently last year. I started with Deepak Chopras 21 day meditation challenge, so it was easy to just open a daily email and click on a link and settle down to listen to the guided meditation.  Like a gentle mist, I didn't notice the results right away, then I started to see more clearly how to better support myself, better guide myself without all the struggle and righteousness that normally accompanies making changes.

  I highly recommend taking 10 minutes each day to just sit, unwind and breathe. To quiet the mind can be a challenge, but the rewards are well worth the investment.  In the climate of our world today, we will need all the inner strength and confidence we can develop.