I completed my second day of a weekend retreat. It is a privilege to be able to take a weekend 'off' and just sit and meditate. I am blessed that I can afford to participate in the weekend.
I've been able to embrace several different issues. One being complaints. I can get really triggered by others complaints. Funny I don't notice when I complain, but I do notice when others complain. Mostly I notice the repetitive and persistent pattern to the complaint. "The same complaint again?" or "Here we go again" when I listen to someone complain over and over about a spouse, job, boss, co worker, money, the economy, etc, etc, etc.
I finally asked the question, "what do I care if they complain?" What's it to me?". I discovered that I am a helper, I want to help ease the pain of the complaint, or erase it. It was a charge I was given at an early age (age 6) to "help your mother, she needs all the help she can get". All well and good, but not the best attitude to have as an older woman.
Most people do not need my help. They sometimes just want to vent to an open ear, a good listener. but to try and offer solutions to someone who doesn't want one...ouch, that has gotten me into more trouble. I discovered most people like their complaints: don't mess with them.
Whew! Freedom there, I do not have to fix them or anything.
I saw my ego, or what I heretofore called, social grace. But in this community it was called ego. Okay, if I am stuck with my way of being social, it's ego, if I can adapt to what is needed, then it is social grace.
I am off to day three. More later.
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