Friend Within

Embracing all the aspects of myself that I resist, invalidate and fear, seems like it would be easy in this ego driven world we've inherited. One would think, as it seems we are so self absorbed these days, it would be nothing to like ourselves.  But I find in talking to many many people, the invalidation of self is ever present.

Why?  What is really going on? 

I stood before the mirror and looked deeply in my eyes, to get to know that person there, not the one I thought I was in my mind.  Who I am now.

I found at first the constant critical voice judging and evaluating my skin, hair, shape, abilities and temper.  I listened as that inner voice so easily and quickly listed my good points and bad points without any real thought. Wow, I must be doing that all the time, and just don't notice it, like white noise, it is in the background but there just the same.  And when I am judging, love is not present.

I considered that to develop real love, I need to begin within.  I started a reality check, to be able to objectively see my talents and shortcomings.  But to see them without anger or resentment, just see them as they are.  I discovered it's not about getting rid of my shortcomings, impatience, fears, worries or doubts, but gaining peace through them.  Embracing them and like and old friend, sitting down and  having dinner with them.