I had one of 'those days' yesterday.  Frustration multiplied at every turn. The last straw hit me when I was fumbling with assorted items I had just gotten at Costco.  While gathering them from my car, I dropped a new white cotton tank top in the muddy sewer water in the gutter and I lost it.  I exploded like a 5 year old who's told they can't have candy on Halloween.  Luckily, I had the thought "My neighbors are probably watching me", I paused and stopped.

That pause saved that moment and  the rest of my day, because I stopped the momentum of anger and frustration and got still.  Remarkably, the anger just vanished, I calmly picked up the now muddy tank top and the rest of my things and went into the house, washed the top, and went about my day.

It gave me pause to consider:  I've got to come to terms with all parts of myself if I'm ever to move forward.  That 5 year-old, who has temper tantrums, the greedy 8 year-old that likes candy before supper, the self-centered 13 year-old who mopes about the house.  All of it.  It is all in me.  And when I get pressed, or stressed, it all comes out.  There is no pill, or diet or chant or prayer that will eliminate those parts of myself.  Or fix what I think is irrepairable. 

Only compassion for the path I am on and the path that those around me are on.  Gentle compassion that tells the truth that the road is rough and uncertain now.  In those moments of compassion, or grace, I will turn the corner with ease.  It's  resistance to that 5, 8 and 13 year-old in me that gets me stuck in doubt worry and anger. 

Resistance and judgement that "I shouldn't be that way, I should be this way", or, " I know how it should be and this ain't it".  That level of thinking usually gets me stuck, unmoving unbending, and worse unreachable.  Truth be told, I'm not interested in being stuck. 

Here's to embracing all of life, as it is now.

"The Best Advice I Ever Got"

In Katie Couric's book, "The Best Advice I Ever Got' there is a story from Christina Applegate called:  "You Don't Have the Luxury of Negative Thoughts".  I recommend you read the story for yourself to get the full benefit of what she accomplished in very challenging times.

I am facing challenging times, and what I hear in my inner voice is that advice, which came to Ms Applegate by way of Michael Beckwith.  Currently, I don't have the luxury of negative thoughts.  Negative thoughts are a kind of indulgence, distraction,  a way of justifying and getting myself off the hook for the results in my live. 

It takes an awareness, and conscious choice to look directly and honestly at any circumstance, situation or obstacle with clarity.  I get labeled a 'Pollyanna', for what seems positive thinking, but really I'm keeping myself focused on what works and highlighting that.  I have found that takes a kind of courage, persistence and fortitude not taught in schools but learned in the school of life.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's to abundance consciousness.

How to Avoid Burning the Candle at Both Ends

In today's economic climate, how do we avoid burning our candles at both ends?  In a time where most of us are doing 3-4 jobs, as we take up the jobs that our co-workers were downsized from 3 years ago, the question seems a little late in asking.  None the less, it is an important question to wrap our minds around as it seems that the new job climate is to expect more and pay less.

So, how do you keep from burning out, wiping out and dropping out?  The safest practice to begin is sitting quietly in a room, with no TV, radio or computer on to distract you.  See just how long you can do it.  5 minutes will seem an eternity.

However, the daily practice of sitting quietly can be a beginning of a beautiful love affair, with yourself.  My daily practice begins first thing in the morning.  I set the timer for 15 minutes of quiet time.  I begin each day with that.  Instead of rushing into the day, I give my body and mind a moment of stillness.  Something I notice that had missing for so long I didn't even realize it until I began the practice, and like a long lost friend, was back fully and easily as if it had never left.

Give your mind a moment to breathe, listen to the quiet, feel the stillness, and pay attention.

Who Are We

I loved this picture when I first laid eyes on it.   The ever changing nature of being human. 

We laugh and cry all within the span of a few minutes.  Emotions charge through us, desire burns in our minds and bellies.  And yet who are we really?

Are we our heritage?  or upbringing?  or personalities?  our likes and dislikes?
Or are we something bigger and beyond all these things?  Our likes change as we grow, the memories of our past fades and we don't really remember exactly how things happened, yet we hold on to the images of our past as if they were real.

Who are we really? 

I like to think that we are spiritual beings having a human experience.  We are co-creators of our world, not just victims in our world.  That is easy to say and very challenging to live.  I can recount all the times I was just darn sure that I was a victim of circumstance, not creating any experience.

But as I get older and open up to the design of the world as it is, not as I want it to be or as the media tells me it is, I see I have a choice in each minute to add grace and compassion to each event that unfolds before me.  That could be the only test that life gives us day in and day out.  Will we add love or not?

What Do You Do?

Just when you think, 'now I'm getting it together', 'now, finally I will get all the pieces to fit and have it all'.  It's at that time when life tends to throw me a wild pitch.Something such as being downsized from a job, or chest pains in a loved one with a midnight trip to the ER.

Something to test my sense of confidence, self reliance and grace.  Personally, I could do without the tests and pretend I passed, huh?  Lets just say I have all those qualities, and don't have to prove it.

Sounds like a bad resume, with brags of jobs done, and education achieved, but no such things have happened.  I've heard that technology resumes from certain eastern countries are notorious for that. 

Okay so, I'll take the tests that life is whipping at me these days, keep track of my daily progress, the wind and the not so wins.  These things may not be written on my new resume, but they will be written on my soul.  I will know the times I handled challenges with grace, and the times I just reached my limit and gave upholding it together.  Both were valuable lessons.  Both helped me grow.

Friend Within

Embracing all the aspects of myself that I resist, invalidate and fear, seems like it would be easy in this ego driven world we've inherited. One would think, as it seems we are so self absorbed these days, it would be nothing to like ourselves.  But I find in talking to many many people, the invalidation of self is ever present.

Why?  What is really going on? 

I stood before the mirror and looked deeply in my eyes, to get to know that person there, not the one I thought I was in my mind.  Who I am now.

I found at first the constant critical voice judging and evaluating my skin, hair, shape, abilities and temper.  I listened as that inner voice so easily and quickly listed my good points and bad points without any real thought. Wow, I must be doing that all the time, and just don't notice it, like white noise, it is in the background but there just the same.  And when I am judging, love is not present.

I considered that to develop real love, I need to begin within.  I started a reality check, to be able to objectively see my talents and shortcomings.  But to see them without anger or resentment, just see them as they are.  I discovered it's not about getting rid of my shortcomings, impatience, fears, worries or doubts, but gaining peace through them.  Embracing them and like and old friend, sitting down and  having dinner with them. 

Labyrinth Walk

I am very grateful that just down the street from my house there are two labyrinth walks.  One is an outside rock garden, the other is inside the nave of a church.  Both are beautiful walks, and I consider the weather conditions as to which walk I will do that day.

While I was walking the inside walk this morning as it was a cold and foggy morning, I was struck by the genius that developed the walk so many centuries ago.   The invention of a walking meditation, different from a seated meditation,  that the path itself which has you change your dominate foot at each turn, which temporarily reprograms the wiring in your brain.  It's rather like changing how you brush your teeth from right hand to left hand every few moments of brushing your teeth.  It shifts your focus, forces you to get present to what you are doing rather than going numb or unconscious to your movements.

I was struck by the beauty of the walk, and how easy and delicate it was, that I was connecting myself to centuries of teachers, sages, mentors and leaders that have given us simple paths to enlightenment, and that it was still here in our world!  Wow!