Aging Gracefully Comes From Patience

My mother-in-law fractured her pelvis and was in the hospital and transitional care unit for 2 months.  It has been a depessing time for her as the pain is unbearable.  The path to recovery is a lot of sitting and walking when all one wants to do is to lay down and not get up.  The bones need compression to heal, so to sit and walk is the best way to repair the fracture.  That has been the last thing she wants to do.

Her depression has been magnified as she is a very active woman, with a walking club, activities with her book club and church.  One can imagine a shy but very social lady stuck in bed with no desire to sit or walk due to the pain. 

Her behavior during this time has been challenging at best for me.  She was rude to the nurses, telling two nurses she dismissed from her case.  (Can you imagine?)  To say she was rude to me is putting it mildly.  My husband and I visited her every day for the entire time she was in the hospital and the transitional care unit.  We brought her things to make her stay at the hospital more comfortable.  Little things like a box of soft tissues, hand sanitizer, wet naps, toothbrush, toothpaste, soft toilet paper, lip balm, dental floss, soft soap.  Nothing big or expensive,  just simple things to show we care and want to ease her stay.

Not one word of thank you, or kindness was expressed towards us.  Not one. 

To say I was upset about that is putting it mildly.  (lol)  At one time I told my husband 'I am done with her!'.  Yes, I was angry, vengeful, and visiting very dark emotions.  (To say the least)

Then I thought about her and realized at one time she was a young woman, with hopes and dreams, love and expectation.  She is now in more pain than she has ever experienced through either the birth of her two children, breast cancer, and hysterectomy, I  began to wonder how I would act, react and feel in the same situation.

That was a wake up call for me.  I started to really ask, "How do I want to age?  How do I want to live in my aging?  What can I do on a daily basis to support my ability to remain open, aware and develop my consciousness while I age?

 I saw that what I do today greatly impacts my future, and I asked myself what is the future I am moving towards? 

I began to practice meditation and yoga daily. I changed my eating habits, began to develop more humor and laugh more.  I got curious to my inherited behaviors, the things I learned from my family and they learned from their family and back and back and back.  What could I do to unravel that never ending spiral of ego, pain, suffering and sadness.

I see that the daily practice of patience and compassion towards my mother-in-law and ultimately all beings that get under my skin,  can help me develop compassion towards my life.  To age gracefully and with elegance, compassion and kindness towards others is key. I can feel connected to all, understanding the fear and concerns that are ever present although never spoken.  These fears and dissatisfaction can be dissipated in each breath we take.  Breathing in the richness of this moment, the colors, textures, and grace.  No matter the circumstance, I can feel the exquisiteness of the emotion in now.