The question came across my head this morning: I've done a lot of self-discovery programs, read lots of books on self-improvement, taken classes on goal setting, worked through all sorts of issues, to become a better person. So, why do I feel so inept, lost, unqualified, and stupid?
Why with every step I take towards improvement, I feel less and less improved? Why are all my insecurities, neuroses, neediness, weaknesses, showing up so in my face?
I sat with that thought for a while, and then it occurred to me, maybe I've got it all backwards. Maybe it's isn't about me improving, getting better, or being perfect, maybe it's more about me, discovering and revealing the inner core of my being. Maybe I could think of myself as Clark Kent.
Clark was willing to play the fool, the one picked on, demeaned, because he knew inside he was capable, strong, and resilient. He didn't question his worth, in a society that badgers us to constantly see the new and improved, and judge ourselves against the imagined perfection, he was willing to just be.
Maybe its more important to start there than the constant chase to get better, improve, or work on myself.
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