Goal setting & goal achieving part 1

Hey it's the end of one year and the beginning of a new one. Time to set some goals!

This article is in two parts. The first is about setting the goal the second is about achievement of the goals.

Goal setting and goal achieving are two completely different activities. Most people misunderstand this completely. Just knowing that they are two completely different activities raises your ability to achieve your goals. But if you really want to reach the stratosphere of achievement pay attention to how you set them.

It's just like a quarterback who sets the football for the kicker; the setting of the ball makes or breaks the kick. You can learn how to set your goals and be assured of a solid foundation in achieving them.


Lets take apart goal setting and goal achieving and see the differences between the two.

Goal setting is an intellectual exercise, goal achieving is a spiritual exercise. I will get into goal achieving in the second part of this series. But for now lets just look at goal setting.

Goal setting is a time when you look intellectually at what you have and what you lack, and begin to put a goal to achieve what you currently do not have and add it to the column to what you do have.

This might seem obvious, but it is very important. If you can see this you will be able to set your goals with more freedom and effectiveness.

Notice that the idea is to put what you do not have into the column you have.
The game of a goal is to change the columns. It's to add to the have column and diminish the have not column.
The game in it's essence is to have more in the 'have' column and less in 'have not' column.

Here is where we get lost in setting goals we begin with what I will call the negative mind set. We set goals with negative emotions attached to them. And that, right there, is in essence why most goals get lost somewhere in February, never to be seen again. We have negative emotions in what we see we want compared to what we do not have and that puts a downward spiral to our goals.

Ever wonder if that might dimmish your goal achieving capability?

It does! Big time.

So to be effective in setting goals I suggest you take some time and set goals from a new emotional place, one called: you can see yourself already having accomplished your goal. You can see it, feel it and emotional are involved that you have it already.

Why? Because your subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and what it imagines. Don't believe me? Okay look up on Wikipedia about visualization for athletics, or the astronauts, or read about Russian studies in training their Olympic contenders in the 1950-60's. They trained their people to see the goal as already won.

So take time to visualize what you see and your goals for 2010. then write them down in the most positive and present tense language you can such as; 'I have the job of my dreams', 'my office is beautiful', 'I have clients that love to work with me', or 'I am paid exceptionally well'. The best stand by if you can't think of any other way to say your goals say this: “I am so happy and grateful now that I have..........”

So take some time, at least the same amount of time you spend planning your vacations in setting a few goals for 2010.

Here are some categories that you can look at in setting your goals:

Health
-physical
-mental
-spiritual
-emotional

Wealth
-net worth
-investments
-savings
-income

Career
-awards
-advancements
-recognition

Relationships
-family
-friends
-coworkers
-clients

Contribution
-giving time
-giving donations
-volunteer on Board of Directors for Non-profit

Okay, see you in part two: Goal Achieving!

Problems 101

Problems are not what we think they are.

The truth about problems is, we will always have them, like anything else in the world. Problems are rampant in the bible, if you ever read it, it's all about problems and how someone raised himself or herself above the problem and succeeded.

I was around for the Vietnam war, and it seemed our country was going to break itself in two during that chaotic time. People argued at work, at home and at church. I remember thinking that if we could only stop the war we could go back to being good to each other.

And then the war did stop, and the arguments and resentments continued. The people that were the strongest critics of the war kept on criticizing.

I realized at that moment that as a species we were always going to have problems, or issues, or friction. The true test of our mettle and courage is how we handle the issue.

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
Einstein said.

So, the real question becomes not "how do I solve this problem" but "what questions can I ask that will free my thinking to create new ideas"

Set a small time each day for creative thinking, and watch how fast you resolve problems.

Breathe

To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.
e. e. cummings

I choose to be me today. Me, in all my terror, complexity, shame, love, joy, fear, and kindness, I choose to just be.

Breathe.

Today I live in thanks

I thank you God for this most amazing day, for the leaping greenly spirits of trees, and for the blue dream of sky and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes.
e. e. cummings

Today I live in thanks, in deepest thanks for each moment of life. Life in it's innumerable experiences, the darkness and the light. In pain, suffering, joy and love. Each moment brings me awareness of who I am. Of how I am built, designed, and how I can grow.

Today I choose to grow, to express myself freely. I create a life of service that expends my awareness and builds my dreams.

Today I live in thanks.

Stress and you. Part one

An age old question seems to be: what causes stress and how can we manage it?

Stress seems to be the target all of our ills in todays fast paced living. Stress gets blamed for everything from Tiger Woods infidelities to Andre Agassi's drug abuse to Brittany's head shaving..
Display any of what we consider bad temper or destructive impulses and we say: stress did it.

Well, lets take a look at the causes of stress.

We think of stressful events as not only unpleasant, but more importantly sidestepping them at all costs. However, try as we might, stress wins every time, from traffic, to 'the kids' to school projects due next week, to work projects due 'yesterday', stress is a major focus.

Sometimes certain events press in on our minds such as financial uncertainty of the global economy, job losses, terrorists, gang violence, changes in our climate, it seems there is no escape. So the natural tendency is to try to bypass stressful situations, or ideas, but is that possible? It appears stress has been added to our list of unavoidable like death and taxes.

Somewhere on that beautiful tropical island, where we all want to live, drinking wine punch and nibbling on coconuts maybe these types of things don't happen, but in our current world with instant messaging and connections many situations are bound to happen. The question becomes can we alter our reaction to these events?

I've asked several people: What stresses you out?

There are two very separate categories of stressful things. Each had subsets within them.

The categories are: things not working and overwhelm or what I will call too much to do too little time

Part one of this article will look at the first: things not working. Part two deals with overwhelm and part three will give some tips and tequniques on handling reactions to stressful situations.

So things not working

As my friend Charlie R. said so clearly:
“When things I don't know how to fix break, or things I don't know how to handle fall apart, that's when I feel the most stressed.”

Dianne S. said:
“Traffic! Especially stop and go traffic, it feels like someone else in in control of my time and speed”

John P. said
It isn't just one thing it's usually a series of things that break or fall apart in succession, like I bought a computer desk and needed to put it together, the screw doesn't fit in the hole with the washer that came with the desk, so I try a new screw but the screwdriver that I had out doesn't work with that screw, I need to get another screwdriver from the tool drawer, now the drawer is stuck so I pull it faster than normal and it fly open and ll the tools in the drawer fall to the floor. That stresses me.”

Ann J. said:
“The computer! Things seem to be going well, then all of a sudden wham, nothing. I've got a virus I don't know how to stop it, or clean it up. I feel so incapable. I should know what to do.”

Steve L. said
“Driving in traffic. A few years ago I had a girlfriend in a city about a 1-2 hour dive away, on good days it was a one hour drive on bad days 2 hours, it took me quite a few moments to shake off that drive. Even though the rewards were great, I got to see my girlfriend, but the cost was too high.”

Mary K said:
“Not finding things. I don't know where things disappear to but one minute there are there and the next gone! Where did they go? I spend time looking for something that should be easy to find.”

Carl W. said:
“When something isn't going well in my relationship and I don't know what to say, or if I should say anything.”

Dan M.
“My job, when I don't get the contract signed, or don't get the client what they need on time, it just gets frustrating.”


All these are under the heading: Thing don't work, or aren't working like they should, or this is not how I thought it would be. How we pictured it in our minds is not matching up with how it currently is.
But it isn't merely that our pictures aren't lining up, what happens is we stop functioning and feel that we've tried and failed. “I give up!” Is the resounding call.
Not just failed today, but somewhere where it really matters, where people are keeping score, we've failed.

That appears to be the common denominator in this level of stress. The interesting thing is we have in expectation of our behavior, or the results we are supposed to produce and it's clearly not being met. Bingo! Our stress meter goes way high.

Part Two: Overwhelm or too much to do too little time.

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Hi

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Meditation

I don't know about you, but I struggle meditating. I fidget, open my eyes to see the time, think all sorts of things.

What I do, is not meditation, just passing time. ;) Or I get maybe 2-5 minutes of meditation in, the rest is just thinking time. And not very restful thinking if you know what I mean.

I remember, years ago, I met a guy who meditated daily, and he said when he first started meditating he had so much energy, he couldn't believe it.

That just hasn't happened with me. I realize a pit fall of living is to compare your results with others. To constantly see how you are doing in comparison to how others do. It's like comparing apples and oranges. Yes, they are fruit, but different in every other way possible.

So, I keep at it, knowing this is one of the best things I can do for myself in this hectic life we live today, with it's rush, rush, get it all done now life.

I trust that meditation is a key to sanity, clarity, and true joy.