Do I Improve or Develop?

The question came across my head this morning: I've done a lot of self-discovery programs, read lots of books on self-improvement, taken classes on goal setting, worked through all sorts of issues, to become a better person. So, why do I feel so inept, lost, unqualified, and stupid?

Why with every step I take towards improvement, I feel less and less improved? Why are all my insecurities, neuroses, neediness, weaknesses, showing up so in my face?

I sat with that thought for a while, and then it occurred to me, maybe I've got it all backwards. Maybe it's isn't about me improving, getting better, or being perfect, maybe it's more about me, discovering and revealing the inner core of my being. Maybe I could think of myself as Clark Kent.

Clark was willing to play the fool, the one picked on, demeaned, because he knew inside he was capable, strong, and resilient. He didn't question his worth, in a society that badgers us to constantly see the new and improved, and judge ourselves against the imagined perfection, he was willing to just be.

Maybe its more important to start there than the constant chase to get better, improve, or work on myself.

Back in the 90's When Things Were Differnt....

Things have changed dramatically.

Many things for the good. Things such as we have a more diverse source of news and opinions. We are not limited to the single focus of the Rupert Murdoch news agency. With the Internet and cell phones we have moved from the single area of control to the many.

We no longer are dominated by the Hollywood machine of movies. Independent movies are springing up everywhere as well as television, music, art and other media.

On the other hand, this movement has created as much change that we are barely able to keep up emotionally with all the structural shifts. Emotionally it is difficult for us to know which way our, or any country, is going. What is the vision of our future?

Is it the doom and gloom of global warming, collapsing economies, and governments?

Or is there a way each of us can create a future worth living? Can we as individuals, create personal futures that fulfill us and the world?

I think so, we just have never been asked to do such a thing ever, I mean like EVER! We have always been asked to dedicate our lives to our county's point of view against another, or our religions point of view against another.

What if we could design a future worth living, that was for us, by us and supports ? What if just asking the question was enough to start it?

A Life Worth Living

It seems common sense doesn't it? to live a life worth living?

But what is common sense is not common practice.

We still invest our mind, body and soul to things that are ultimately inconsequential.

I have been practicing a kind of mind and body wash, clearing the cobwebs of thought to get present to life as it is, in order to be able to communicate more effectively, cleanly and elegantly.

By keeping in mind simplicity, focus and present awareness, I have begun the road to better use my talents, appreciate the negative comments and , for lack of a better word, attacks, in tow.

Being ones' own person in a world that constantly demands conformity, is what every person form the beginning of time has had to suffer through. It's what is, no escape for anyone. But be on the path. That is my best thought for today. I am on the path, I have shown up.

That is what makes a life worth living, YOU show up. YOU are present.

http://www.LeadershipAndInfluenceSummit.com

http://www.LeadershipAndInfluenceSummit.com

Chasing Fame and Wealth

In Eastern teaching, there are several mistresses. One being Fame and Wealth, another Wisdom and Knowledge.

Fame and wealth are troublesome, temperamental, and changeable. Like a fluttering butterfly, fame and wealth don't stop any one place for long. And when we chase fame and wealth it repels or disturbs her.

But to develop knowledge and wisdom, builds a strong foundation for fame and wealth to feel safe and protected enough to land.

So, in our steps toward success, it becomes a bigger and more powerful part of the puzzle to design time and efforts building knowledge and wisdom. That allows us to become of the world but not a victim to the world and its ever changing environment.

"The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself."

Mark Caine
Author

2011 and tax time

Well, it's March 15th. Been a long time since I've written here.

Lots has happened.

New job with California Dollars For Scholars, Hop releases in April, our taxes are done, good rebate coming, got a new washer and dryer, got it installed.

It's going well. However, I'm being tested beyond my current abilities.

We have a conference March 26th and I fear low attendance. That was my job.
Like the fox in this picture my goals seem out of reach.
The grapes are out of reach. My tendency is to call them sour and give up.

I do that way too much. Give up, stop, let go.

I 'know' I need to trust powers greater than mine to produce results, but my human brain can't seem to keep from getting cynical and pessimistic and giving up.

Crazy huh? We live in greater opportunities than all times and we find a way to see the dark side. We live lives of comfort and creation, and yet, we complain.

Wow.

This I need to look at more carefully. What is the nature of complaints? Why the need to complain? Why do we trust people more who are negative?

Is it a fear of being 'taken', considered a dupe? naive?

Education and Bamboo

Education is a lot like a certain Chinese bamboo.

Most bamboo is considered the fastest growing plants in the world. However, there is one type of bamboo that grows in China, it grows only 2 inches the first year, then only 2 inches the next, and the next. for five years it only grows 2 inches each years, until at the end of the fifth year it will grow 90 feet.

90 feet in less than one year. Wow.

Education is a lot like that. You work hard and study for years and sometimes don't see any pay off to your dedication, until...you get that job that requires the degree you got. Or because you have a degree you get a chance at an interview.

Education is a funny thing, once you have it it can never be taken away from you. Ever.

It takes dedication, perseverance, focus. But the payoff is worth it.