I just wish I wouldn't get upset

I can remember sitting in French class and , as I saw it, failing my French test, thinking; "I just wish I wouldn't get so upset about things why do I always get so upset?".
Somehow I decided that to get upset was one of the worst things I could do. Don't know where I got that from, no incident special, probably just life itself. But I've carried that one around for years.
Every once in a while I think I have room to get cranky or speak up, and it doesn't turn out as I think it should, and wham, I'm back to suppressing, giving up and giving in.
As far as I can tell, that's not really life, that's my conforming to a set pattern of how I've been taught to be, not being itself.
I was once told; "It's not what you say, it's who you are being, that has you be heard or not".
Sounds good but I can see I made that one more opportunity to suppress myself even more, cause obviously if you are being the right way, you will get heard, right?
Mark Joyner from Simpleology says what we need to do in this climate is get stronger. But what does getting stronger look like? More stubborn? More fierce?
Personally, I just wish I wouldn't get upset. I wish I could view all circumstances as opportunities, and joyfully embrace each one. Yeah, not quite there yet. :)

Vision and Focus

I had a Great Aunt that was a concert pianist, she 'practiced' her scales on the piano everyday for at least an hour. Then she would begin to really work. She would practice the pieces she was preparing to perform, or challenge herself in playing old pieces. But she was focused on her craft.
I was wondering if we have that kind of focus these days? And can we produce the same results if we don't?
Needless to say my Great Aunt grew up in a time of no TV, or computer or Internet games, so her experience of time was different. But she also grew up in a time of having to work very hard, manual labor was how most people earned their living, and she was an expense for the family being a musician.
So how did she keep focused, and play each day when all around her the pressure to bring in money for the family, and to get married, settle down, stop all this dreaming of being a piano player must have felt insurmountable?
That really is the question each of us must ask each day of ourselves.
Oprah Winfrey has said she asks each night : "Please allow me to provide what you want from me God"
Not just one night a week, every night.
That is a million dollar prayer. A clear focus to provide what is wanted and needed, and you are the vessel through which your vision becomes a reality.
A million dollar prayer will result in a million dollar answer. But like my Aunt it takes practice, persistence, dedication.
I think dedication is something many of us fear. To really dedicate oneself to something, for no apparent reason, or if you will make money at it, just because it fulfills you.
that is true dedication.

Day Two

"The first principle of success is desire--knowing what you want. Desire is planting the seed." Robert Collier.

I've read words similar to this for years. "You must know what you want, get clear in your mind what you want."

I thought, many times, that I knew exactly what was being said. "I know" I can hear that little voice in my head say. "Of course, I know, and I know this other thing too......."

Yesterday I asked myself to 'not know', to be willing to allow other answers to come forth. What an interesting day.

I found myself catching assumptions of life and how it works. Things like "It takes time for that to happen, money isn't easy to make, struggle is how it happens."

Wow! Each time I caught myself in that I would simply ask if that was true. I began to question thoughts that were automatic in the area of money.

BTW: one person who reads this blog has thought of me for a job. How cool is that?